January 2012
3 posts
My internal self: 12-27-11
I will not own up to this later, but whatever follows is honest. It is me. It is not edited. It is free.
I am 23 years old and I am estranged from the values of my peers. I have left my peers for the most part. I fell in love. That sounds cliche’. But, her echoes still stir me, her eyes still chase me and I cry more often than I am comfortable—sometimes. It’s gotten better....
Try. Some voices in your head —familiar.
They whine. They whine.
Why. Sinking within the bounds of deceit.
Never still. Triumphant
Calling you out on shit you didn’t do.
Rough rhythms tracing the sky with hopeless
banter. Terrified without such noise.
My memories, random and chaotic,
do not tell me more about who I am.
I recall days, rather, moments of blissful
disharmony...
A lifetime moment
Genuine and unpretentious.
Lost.
A convalescent
mix-match
with apartment
duplexes.
overgrown empty
lot dirt green
lively with
living.
beings
beings gone
in stretchers
blue hangers
Blue
straps
blue cloth
cold metal
cart
two dark
blue men
in plain faces
dark in Blue
midnight
pale
light California
simulated splendor.
Sincere
mourning
...